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The Impatience Feature

BY PHILLIP WITTMEYER

Impatience is the self-image of the "born winner", the successful person who cannot stand to fail. He may rise early in the morning so he can get more done each day. Things never happen fast enough to suit him. Time moves too slow to suit him: the future does not arrive soon enough. He constantly tries to pack more activity into the allotted time than can possibly be done. Or he does not allot enough time for the things that need to be done. This often makes him late for things rather than early, as one might expect from an Impatient person. He does not like to wait for things, so may do something before adequate preparations have been made. He would rather buy something on credit, for instance, rather than wait till he has the money saved. He gets upset if things do not happen soon enough. When he talks, he is brief, curt, abrupt, hasty, and presumptuous. Often he interrupts the conversation of others rather than waiting his proper turn. There is a crudeness and lack of politeness in this.

A person with this Feature sees himself as an originator of action. He wants to be there at the beginning of events. He is always in a rush to get things going or make things happen.

Impatience is the complementary opposite of the Martyr. Whereas the Martyr gives up and gives in easily, the Impatient one is not a quitter — at least not in the same sense as the Martyr. The Impatient one may want to move on to the next project before he completes the last one, but it is not because he surrenders or is discouraged. Unlike the Martyr, the Impatient one demands respect — he has an excessive amount of self-respect in fact, and is likely to push others around rather than let himself be pushed around like the Martyr. Martyrs regard themselves as helpless, weak, and defeated, but Impatient people will almost never admit they need help — it would be a sign of defeat or weakness.

The underlying fear that drives this Feature is the fear of missing out on something — something more important than what is presently being done. This can be difficult for the person, as they go from activity to project to activity in a constant state of restlessness and dissatisfaction. This can apply to relationships as well as activities and projects. Constant change is seen as better than stagnation. Often such a person will walk away from you before you have finished talking to him. The way to overcome this is to contemplate and apply the Positive Pole of Martyrdom, which is +Selflessness. Rather than asserting the ego against the will of others or against circumstances, let go of personal power and surrender to the situation.

Impatience is the counterpart of the King Role — the Impatient one sees himself as a King, a leader of men and a master of situations. He has the self-image of a King, but without the substance, and this can get him into trouble if he takes his presumed ability to command beyond his actual capacity. He will tend to just push others around rather than lead them. The Impatient one would do well to watch out for this factor.

The Positive Pole is +Audacity. There is an over-boldness here, a lack of proper self-regulation. He is rash and impetuous as he drives headlong forward. The person is always looking to the future and trying to get a jump on it, rather than working with his present resources. His expectations are generally ahead of reality, and he wants to catch up to it as quickly as he can. He anticipates success in whatever he does. This is the self-image of the overachiever. A person with this Feature sees himself as a born winner, as strong and successful. He will not admit inadequacies in himself, but makes excuses for any failures he has.

In the Negative Pole of -Intolerance, the person is easily irritated at people and circumstances. Others consider him hot-tempered. As a child he may throw "temper tantrums", and continue similar behavior into adulthood. In sports — or the real games of life — he is a poor loser. He is prone to rages and furies with little provocation. People around him have to be very careful not to upset him because he is so easily angered, and he overreacts to minor inconveniences or petty failures. When his expectations are not fulfilled, he become cross, petulant, acerbic, and acrimonious. He gets angry when others walk on him or when he thinks his rights are violated. At the extreme, a person in -Intolerance will persecute others — make Martyrs of them, and of course the most extreme form of this is actual murder.

The advantage of this Feature is that it makes the person success-oriented. He is a self-starter, not slack in activity, and he does not hold himself back. Others tend to perceive him in a positive and respectful way, as having leadership ability, and a certain dash and daring. The disadvantage is that he may move from project to project, dabbling here and there without mastering anything. He may also offend other, slower, people because he will tend to run over them.

The primary lesson to be learned from the two Features of Martyrdom and Impatience is the issue of self-respect. The Martyr does not have enough of it and the Impatient one has too much. All are equally worthy of the same respect. In the real game of life, there are neither winners nor losers, only players who are learning to play. There is neither success nor failure, only experience. There is neither too much time nor too little, just enough to do what is to be done and at the proper pace.

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Phil Wittmeyer is a longtime Michael student and scholar of the teachings.  He can be reached at: wittmeyer@hotmail.com

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